The Life of a Vagabond
I have been thinking about this word quite a bit these days because I seem to be getting asked quite often "where am I from?". Intuitively I recognize that this is one of those almost unconscious questions that we ask strangers in a veiled attempt to find some commonality with those that we don't know. Needless to say, for 3 years now I have struggled with how to answer the question and it has only gotten worse of late.
As you may know, for a little more than 3 years now I have been homeless, living the life of a travelling, expeditions, photographing vagabond. And yet, when this question is asked of me I struggle with how to answer. You see, people can't quite grasp the concept that I truly don't have a home. It is often after a bit of back and forth that we settle on an answer which revolves around where I was born, where I went to high school and where I raised my children. The answer has nothing to do with 'Where I am From' but it does seem to minimize the sense of angst that is plastered all over the questioners face. In the end, I think they feel somewhat satisfied, and yet not. For me, these conversations happen on a daily basis so I rarely give them a second thought.
That is until today, when I sat in the living room talking to my friend Amy about 'where & what next'. You see, that is the second most asked question of those living a Vagabond life; where are you going next or what are you doing next? These questions always elicit a smile and a giggle from me because I often don't know the answers to them, although I always have ideas. Yes, I think about what is next, where I might go, what I might do, but those that know me best know that I never really decide until the bitter end. But today, as I was going through this dialogue, attempting to list out my options or potential plans, it hit me that for almost 3 years I have managed to live this type of life. That THIS type of life, for me, is no longer abnormal, it just is.
I don't know if that makes sense to you, but for me this was sort of a profound moment. The moment where I recognized consciously that my 'abnormal' life, was now my 'normal' life. What does that actually mean? Well, it means that I no longer spend any anxious time thinking about my situation. I no longer devote any real brain power to the questions that originally dominated my thought process. Questions like "How will I survive?"; "What will I do?"; "Where will I sleep?"; "How in the hell is this going to work!!". Nope, now those are all gone, replaced by the peacefulness that surrounds knowing that all is as it should be; knowing that the patch I am creating is the path I am supposed to be on; Knowing that perfection exists in this imperfect world that I am living and that is just fine with me.
So, where will I go next? What will I do next? How will it all work out?... The answer is I don't know, and that is just fine with me, because I have faith that everything IS as it should be?